I must confess, I started this week in a bit of a foul mood. My Tumblr Dashboard, my Twitter homepage, even my personal email were overflowing with "OMG! HAVE YOU SEEN THE LYRA SEX TOY! MY LITTLE PONY IS RUINED FOREVER!!!!" messages. All of them complete with photographic evidence. Everywhere I turned, from Reddit to Ponibooru was like the ruined battlefield of a civil war reenactment staged by green pony butts. And you know what? The first, let's say, dozen times I saw it, I said to myself "Self, that's the end. It was a fun ride, but it's time to nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." Then I realized I was talking to myself again, and decided to just sit back, relax, and avoid the plot that devours nations.
Of course avoiding it was out of the question because the bloody thing was everywhere! For all I could tell it was being simulcast twenty-four